K I've patented a great idea for our end-of-the-world-predicting friends: The Apoca-matic®
It's a sign with the writing "Judgement Day is coming: " followed by spiral rings where the months, days, and years are mounted on flipcards.
No apocalypse? No problem - just flip the patented EZDate™ FlipCard and you've got your shiny new date! And because each digit of the year is individually adjustable, your Apoca-matic® will last until the year 9999!
But wait there's more! In the year 9999 (if your particular Apocalypse has failed to transpire yet) you can order the Extend-a-Date™ EZSnapOn™ extension that adds generations to your Apoca-matic®! FREE!
Nasty sinners throwing milkshakes and tomatoes at you? No problem because it will be constructed of durable, recyclable plastic with an EZClean™ coating.
It's green too because it uses less of Earth's precious resources since you don't have to make a new cardboard sign for each new prediction. Think of the thousands of trees that will be spared over the lifetime of your Apoca-matic®!
EZDate™ FlipCards consist of the months of the year, a space, two digit cards, a comma card, and the final four digits (Act now and receive the GetNoticed™ Exclamation Point Absolutely Free!) English is the default language however our Operators are standing by to give you an InstaQuote™ on The Apoca-matic® translated to your own personal language
ComfortGripz™ Handle for generations of use
Anodized Spiral Rings for NeverRustz™ protection
Grommets machined to GoodEnoughForGodzWork™ tolerances - meaning perfection only - for long lasting EZGlidez™ action
EZClean™ coating for no fuss, no muss cleanup
Extend-a-Date™ EZSnapOn™ extension (Absolutely Free! - cannot be ordered until 9999)
The Apoca-matic® Get yours today - just $19.95 (+$12.95 shipping & handling) Contact us for your InstaQuote™ for bulk orders of 100 or more
ShareDaGudNewz™ Industries - made in the good ol' US of A
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